


Different

by DepressedCarrot



Series: Distance [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Break Up, College, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss of Virginity, Love, Making Out, Making Up, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Sex, Soulmates, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25117945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedCarrot/pseuds/DepressedCarrot
Summary: Steven Universe had been suffocating. Connie never liked to say the word, but it was true. It had been over two years since Connie had broken his heart by telling him she wanted more in life than...Steven.It was never her intention to cause him so much pain.They say that time can heal all wounds, but the reality is things don't get better...just different.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: Distance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819411
Comments: 22
Kudos: 43





	Different

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teapods/gifts), [Obligate_Hedonist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obligate_Hedonist/gifts), [TranscendentalSpaceGem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TranscendentalSpaceGem/gifts).



> Please read my fic 'Delicate' before reading this story. This is a sequel and although you could read this without reading Delicate, I highly recommend it to get the feel of the story and understand why the characters act in the way that they do. It'll be worth it - trust me. 
> 
> Please check the tags, I've made this fic a teen. There is a little spicy spicy scene and some sexual suggestion, but nothing of sheer smut level. Y'all should be good. 
> 
> Dedicating and gifting this work to a few people on my Discord server who helped me through writing this and inspired me to do a continuation of Delicate. Star, thank you very much for all of your input into the story. Your writing and excitement for the story have been incredibly inspiring and I couldn't have done it without you. Teapods, you are a blessing. I hope this fic doesn't hurt you but thank you for reading Delicate back to me. It was wonderful and I wouldn't have been inspired to do this without that call. UwU, you are the sweetest human being in existence and I'm sorry for making you sad when I write hahaha. Thanks for everything you do for us on the server. Stasious - you baby. <3 Thanks guys - you're the best! Big thank you to everyone else on the server who make it so much fun day in and day out.

It had been over two years since Connie had enrolled in college. It would have been a lie to say that she wasn’t enjoying herself. In fact, she had been having the time of her life. It was nice to have gone somewhere to have a fresh start. 

Nobody knew who Connie Maheswaran was and it was fantastic to make a name for herself outside of Beach City. At Jayhawk University she was smart, cool and could have even been considered popular. It wasn’t something that she ever really wanted, but the sentiment was nice. She had a large group of friends from class and was incredibly close with everyone in her dorm. 

As a kid who was plagued with anxiety it seemed strange for Connie to have spent all of her time in college socialising. After everything that had happened throughout her life she most certainly deserved it. 

After everything that had happened with Steven - she deserved it. She deserved to be happy. 

It had been a few years since that fateful day in which Connie had been welcomed into college and had pushed away from her old life that Steven played such a prominent part. It hurt. It was difficult and there were so many days in which Connie couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that she had said. 

She had broken up with Steven. Well, not exactly broken up - they just wanted to move onto different things. Connie wanted to move onto different things. 

Connie knew that breaking things off with Steven would hurt him. She knew that and she was stupid enough to continue. It had to be done. As much as she didn’t want to - she couldn’t keep a hold of the connections that forced such awful memories onto her mind. 

Connie wanted to experience a life without Steven, despite being so torn over the decision she knew it was what was best for both of them. It wasn’t as if she wanted to stop being friends with him, that was never the intention. What she did want was to be at a point in which they could be friends - but not have the urge to want to kiss him every two minutes as she had spent the whole summer doing before college. 

As much as she cherished the memories of her making out with Steven in the back of the Dondai, they were lost now. Connie didn’t want to ruin their relationship by moving to college, but without that push, Steven would have never taken the steps he needed to find himself. 

When they had first split and Connie had started college, they spoke near enough every single day. Steven was always texting her, sharing what he was doing with his day along with links to TubeTube videos that he found funny. Connie humoured the behaviour, she loved hearing from Steven every single day. After all, college was an entirely new experience and whilst she was still trying to navigate new friendships it was nice to have Steven to fall back onto when everything else seemed a little bit out of sorts. 

It wasn’t as if she used him. No. It wasn’t like that. Well, she did use him for comfort on the days in which college wasn’t entirely going the way that she wanted. Steven missed being in the same room as she studied and often found himself on a video call with her. 

At least at the beginning that was how things went. 

Steven had decided to do the same as Connie. Not in the sense of packing his bags and moving to college, but he too wanted a change. Steven had decided to pack his bags and throw them into the back of his car. He didn’t want to have to look back any more - Beach City was a distant memory. 

It seemed other than his family and Connie he tried his hardest to disconnect from the town. He no longer wanted to be part of a place that had caused him so much pain and suffering throughout his childhood. He had come to a realisation that as much as he wanted to be with Connie - she was right. He had to go and adventure out and find what he wanted to be and what he wanted to do. 

Of course, originally all of these plans had involved Connie in the back of his mind. Still, to that day he still thought about each and every one of his plans and how they would feel with Connie beside him. It didn’t help that after a few years of being apart he no longer spoke to his best friend in the same way that he spoke to her when she had left. 

There was no malice between either of them. There was nothing to say that they disliked each other or that they didn’t want to be together. Instead, it was the lonely silence that they felt at night when they used to call one another. The silence now filled with the people around them. 

For Connie, that was her dorm mates and the people in her class that she spent most of her time with. For Steven, that was whoever he had befriended on his travels across the country. They both started to have different people in their lives to contend with. It made things busy and as much as they wanted to continue talking to one another - things started to slow down. 

It seemed as if Connie was right in saying that she wanted to experience different things outside of Steven. Different things outside of being with Steven. Steven, on the other hand, had found it incredibly hard at first to disconnect, but he had to try. He had to try for Connie. 

When he had first started his travels he had spoken to Connie near enough every single day and then suddenly it became every other day. Slowly they only dropped each other a message once a week to check in on what they had been up to. Broken text messages that consisted of nothing more than asking how the Gems were or how college was going. They held no meaning, it felt more like a courtesy more than anything else. 

Months. They hadn’t heard each other's voices in months. 

That wasn’t something either of them really wanted, but it was a habit that both of them had fallen into. They were childhood best friends and knew that at the flick of a switch they could have reconnected regardless of where either of them was in their life. At least, that was what they had both hoped. 

Six months. That had been an incredibly long time for two people to have not spoken to one another properly. Sending broken texts every week wasn't considered a conversation. There was so much that could have changed in six months. Not only that, but that was just six months of not speaking to one another. It wasn’t as if they had even been within a metre of one another for the past year. That would have been impossible with Steven’s travels and Connie’s college work. 

Steven knew he should have gone to visit her in college sooner, but the longer that he left it the harder it became. She probably didn’t even want to see him. They weren’t friends like they used to be. That bond that they once believed could have never been broken had suddenly been ripped away from them. Thye once believed that they were soulmates and yet they had spent so long apart that it couldn’t have been true. 

If it were true they would have reconnected and yet they did nothing of the sorts. 

Steven was on his travels having what he wanted to call the time of his life. Although he sometimes had incredibly bad days where he spent them thinking down on himself, he had met such an eclectic group of people on his travels and despite not being gems they were incredibly interesting. A lot of them had such varied pasts that Steven found it hard to even believe that he had spent his entire life being an outcast. Although not quite the same - there were other people in the world that felt as if they had been left out of something important in the long run. People who didn’t quite have the same opportunities. 

Connie, on the other hand, had spent so much time building herself up around the college that it was hard of her to think about doing anything else or relating back to anyone outside of the college walls. Why would Steven have even bothered to come back when he had so much of his own business going on? It just wasn’t worth it. 

Connie didn’t want to bother him. He had clearly found his way without her. Steven thought the same about Connie. After she had broken his heart into what seemed like a million pieces he wanted nothing more than the best for her and yet he couldn’t help but ache over the feelings he felt all them years ago. 

It had been pretty late at night when Steven had gotten the text. A simple:

‘Are you up?’ 

Steven was sitting outside with his newfound friends, attempting to tell stories around a small fire pit together. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, reading the text. He couldn’t quite believe it - a text from Connie. That certainly wasn’t something that he had seen in a while. A text message with what looked to be substance to it. 

Steven knew that Connie wouldn’t have messaged him so late if it wasn’t because of something important. His heart still skipped a beat at the sight of her name. 

He still loved her. He knew that he still loved her and yet he promised himself to stay away. He didn’t want to ruin anything for her by being...him. 

‘Yeah. I’m up.’ Steven texted back as he stared down at his phone, refusing to remove his eyes from the screen as he stood up and walked away from his friendship group. None of them questioned him exiting the scene as he made his way back to his car. 

Steven watched the three dots on the screen bounce, his heart pounding. 

‘Can I call?’ 

Steven glanced over towards the firepit where the rest of his friends were hanging out in near darkness. He didn’t need to concern them with his conversation. It was the first time he would have been speaking to Connie in months and he was desperate for that connection. What if she was in trouble or upset? Steven always wanted to be there for her - no matter what. 

‘Yeah.’ Steven was quick to text back. 

He watched his phone light up - the screen turning to a photograph of both him and Connie when they were teenagers. It seemed like a completely different time and they had both changed immensely since then. In both looks and personality - despite never wanting to admit that their own activities had changed them in any way. 

Steven leant against the side of his car as he pressed the green button before holding the phone up to his ear.

“Hey.” Connie spoke softly through the phone.

“Hey...” Steven echoed. They hadn’t spoken in months, what was he supposed to say? 

“I’m sorry I called, I just-” 

“Are you okay?” Steven suddenly voiced his concern. Why was Connie calling him after not speaking to him for so long? 

He couldn’t put the blame on Connie. It was down to both of them to communicate and neither of them had made any effort to do so. He couldn’t blame it on Connie when it was just as much his fault. Steven needed to make himself responsible for their downfall too. 

“It’s so nice to hear your voice.” Connie interrupted - completely ignoring his question. 

“It’s nice to hear your voice too.” Steven bit down on his bottom lip. It was fantastic hearing Connie’s voice and yet it also sounded so vacant, as if she had forced herself to make the phone call. She was distant both mentally and in how far away she was across the country.

“How are you doing?” 

“Oh, the usual. Lots of driving. How about you?” 

“Um...still in college, so, lots of studying.” 

“Still in college? Does it ever end?” Steven snorted. He didn’t exactly have a great relationship with...college. The one thing that won against him when it came to Connie. 

“It doesn’t feel like it ever will - does it?” Connie chuckled, realising how long she had been there. It had been years. 

“Nope. Be careful or you’ll be there forever.” Steven was somewhat mad that Connie had completely thrown him out for this different life that she wanted to lead. Steven wanted to lead a slightly different lifestyle to the one that he had in Beach City - but that didn’t mean he wanted Connie out of his life. 

Steven couldn’t help but feel mad. He never wanted to feel mad at Connie, that wasn’t fair. Although there was something within him that still felt hurt. He still loved her more than anything and yet it didn’t feel as if she gave him a moment's notice. This was the first time that they had spoken in months - what changed? 

Nothing changed. Everything was still the same as it was when she claimed she wanted something different. What did that mean exactly? Steven was still unsure and it irked him to think about it. 

“I know it seems out of the blue, but I couldn’t sleep - I’ve been thinking a lot lately.” Connie suddenly admitted. Steven kicked his shoes against the ground below before staring up at his friendship group who had suddenly noticed that he was on a phone call. 

“Yeah? What about?” 

“Us.”

Steven’s heart dropped. 

“What about ‘us’?” Steven furrowed his eyebrows, incredibly confused why it had taken Connie over two years to even begin to mention anything like this to him. It didn’t seem right and he didn’t want to fall for anything that left him getting hurt again. 

Connie wasn’t malicious and he never believed that what she did was to hurt him. It was more or less about making sure that they each got to live their lives apart from each other. Connie had spent her entire childhood with Steven and although that was never a bad thing, a lot of the nightmares that she had because of it left a sour taste in her mouth. Connie wanted to be her own person away from Steven and that would have been impossible in Beach City. 

It would have been impossible if he was showing up at her university every other week to prance around with her in his arms. It wouldn’t have been right. Connie wanted to experience new things and these new things didn’t include Steven and his magical powers to sweep her off her feet. 

Connie loved Steven - but she couldn’t be who she wanted to be. She couldn’t see the world from a human perspective with him beside her. She needed college for that release. 

“I miss you, Steven.” Connie sighed deeply, the audio quality somewhat scrambled with Steven being in what could have been considered the middle of nowhere. 

“I miss you too.” Steven had no idea what he could have responded with when everything inside of him suddenly became so mixed with emotion. 

“Are you close? Do you want to come to my college this weekend?” 

“This weekend?”

“Is that too soon? I just thought maybe you would want to catch up…”

“Yeah! Yeah, I can do this weekend.” Steven stared down at the floor beneath him. He could do this weekend, he could have done any weekend if it meant he would get to reconnect with Connie. There was nothing that he had wanted more over the past two years than to hear those words inside of a phone call. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m not too far away.” Steven lied through his teeth. He was over five states away, but he would have swam across the ocean if it meant getting to see Connie again. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I want to see you, Connie.” Steven finally admitted just as she had done in her own way. Of course he wanted to see her. He wanted to see her more than anything in the world. 

Except, he was different. He wasn’t the same person that he was when he had left Beach City and even the gems had commented on it. He didn’t exactly look...like Steven Universe. He certainly didn’t feel like the same person who had left Beach City. He hated the thought of Connie not recognising him when they next met. 

“Well, I’ll be looking forward to it.” Although Steven couldn’t see her face, he could tell by the tone of her voice that she was smiling. He couldn’t help but smile himself. 

“Me too.” 

“I’ll text you?” Connie questioned, it seemed as if a part of her was desperate to get away from the phone call despite her being the one to make the first contact.

Steven didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Seeing Connie was going to be quite the feat considering he hadn’t seen her in so long. Things were...different now. Not only between them, but different as individuals. They both lived such separate lives. 

“That sounds...good.” Steven responded swiftly. 

“See you then?” Connie quite clearly didn’t want to spend more than a few minutes on the call. It was surprising as most of their phone calls ended up lasting for hours.

Well, they did years ago.

“Yeah. See you then.” Steven half-smiled as he removed the phone from his ear and clicked the red button on the screen. 

He had never had such a deflated phone call with Connie in his entire life. It was incredibly different to what he remembered and as much as he had found himself wanting to pick up the phone and call Connie more than he would have liked to admit - the phone call certainly wasn’t what he was expecting. 

“Hey, Steve! What are you doing? Get over here, man!” A voice shouted from the opposite side of the firepit in the distance. It was one of his many newfound friends that he had made alongside his travels. 

Although he hadn’t spent the whole time travelling with these people, they had certainly grown close and Steven was starting to get used to being around them. They were all incredibly nice to him and he found that regardless of the subject he could have spoken to them about just about anything and they wouldn’t have found any kind of shame in his words. 

They respected him - even with all of the weird magic stuff that he was capable of. Occasionally, they just saw them as fun party tricks. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

It didn’t help that a lot of them were high most of the time that they were around Steven - but that was beside the point. They enjoyed his company and that was all that mattered. 

Although Steven didn’t always agree with everything that his new friends did, he did often find himself looking out for them all just as they would look out for him if it was the other way around. 

Did Steven take drugs? No, of course not. It wasn’t something he particularly condoned and didn’t quite match his personality to do so. Well, at least not drugs that could lead him down a spiralling course of addiction. 

Had he touched them in the past? Yeah, a few times. 

Why? Anger and frustration for the most part. It was hard having breakdowns on the road and Steven found that sometimes something to help take the edge off was the best thing for him. It helped him stop turning pink for a start and he never felt unsafe. 

Steven never thought about taking anything that could have done him harm over a great deal of time, although passing around a joint with his friends wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t done worse things, like shattering Jas-

He tried not to think about it. 

Steven wasn’t quite sure what to think about Connie calling him so late at night and asking him to come over. That wasn’t something that had happened within a two year period, it seemed unheard of for it to happen now. There was nothing that could have led to something like that. 

He felt uncomfortable knowing that she had invited him over - probably for something much more than to just catch up. It felt like an eternity to the weekend, but he still needed to travel across several states before he got to Connie’s college. 

Steven made his way over to his friends before completing the circle around the firepit once more. Nobody said a word as they stared at Steven’s somewhat upset looking expression. They had noted that he had gone away for a phone call, but they weren’t the type to pry. Steven was happy to share things when he was ready and he respected that they always took a step back until he was ready. They weren’t suffocating. 

Steven was grateful for his friends and he loved to be around them. They gave him confidence in himself and although they had influenced him quite a lot, Steven didn't mind. He needed to change after being in Beach City his entire life. It was time for a change that got him away from his younger self. He didn't need to be constantly reminded of all the horrible things he went through as a child due to no fault of his own. Everything was better now and there was no need to continue to bring it up. 

It didn't take long for Steven to say goodnight to everyone and tumble into the back of his car. Although he sometimes stayed with his friends he knew he wanted to wake up bright and early to start his journey across the states to see Connie sooner rather than later. 

Although he travelled at a steady pace, he knew he would have gotten there much sooner than he had anticipated. He tried to hold off as much as possible but found himself strolling around the college campus in confusion Friday evening. He had texted Connie to let her know he was on his way, but nothing more. There was no need to intrude on her personal life. Steven would have a quick tour for himself around campus and if he didn't see Connie then he would retreat back to his car until the following day. 

However, on that fine afternoon, Connie sat on a bench studying with her friends. They called it studying and yet all they were currently doing was chatting away about everyday annoyances on campus. 

Connie was scribbling on the corner of her page, she was completely distracted. It wasn't like Connie to get that way, but there was something on her mind. Someone. 

She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since she had called the other night. Connie still wasn't quite sure why she called. She thought perhaps bringing Steven into her life would change a few things she didn't like and being around Steven made her feel...good. Connie truly did miss Steven and everything about him from his quirks to his flaws. Despite everything - she still loved him the same way she did when she was a teenager. 

Although, for the first time in what seemed like forever she felt nervous about seeing Steven. It wasn't quite something she would have ever imagined for herself and yet as she sat on the bench drawing circles in the corner of her notebook her stomach churned at the thought of seeing him again. 

"Guys! Hot boy at two o'clock." 

"Woah, who is that?" 

"I've never seen him before!" 

"Connie, quick! You'll miss him otherwise." Connie's friend sat beside her nudged her violently causing her to drop her pen and look up at what all the commotion was about. 

Not too far away was a boy, well - a man. He was a comfortable kind of tall, his hair was dominated by fluffy black curls that pointed upwards, his sideburns shaven in such a way to be considered stylish and his face was covered in prickly stubble. The man was wearing a loosely fitted black denim jacket with a white t-shirt underneath, the shape of a yellow star printed on the chest. He was also representing a selection of brands with a fancy pair of red suede sneakers that had a statement stripe down the side of them. His jeans were tight and yet cuffed at the bottom. 

Connie suddenly stood up, recognising the figure just enough to be shocked by his presence. Everyone on her table gaped at her with open expressions. 

"Steven!?!" Connie shouted in complete shock, he was barely recognisable - but she knew it was him. 

The figure turned towards her, stood in the parking lot where he had just locked his car. It was the Dondai that Connie recognised from years ago. 

"Connie, you know that guy?" Her friend's jaw practically dropped to the table at the sight. Connie was unable to take her eyes away from the man standing not too far away. 

Connie completely ignored her friends as she backed away from the table and made her way over to the man. Steven was frozen, completely surprised as he noticed Connie. 

She was different from how he remembered. He had seen pictures of her on social media, but nothing compared to reality. 

Dressed in a tightly fitted white shirt tucked into her jean shorts, it was nearing the end of spring and was starting to get rather warm. It wasn't as if Steven hadn't seen her in an outfit like it before - but this time it was different. Her hair flowed down past her shoulders and her body noticeably curved in all the right places. 

Steven found himself gulping with trepidation. She was beautiful…

Connie walked over to Steven with a quick pace, sparing no time to look back at her friends who were calling her back out of confusion. They weren't quite sure whether she was running towards Steven to murder him or kiss him - her expression and tone gave away no answers. 

Steven didn't say a word as Connie threw her arms around him. He smelt like aftershave and marshmallows - just as he had done the last time they were together. As she wrapped her arms around him she noticed that he had become much more muscular around his stomach. Connie rested her head on his chest as he too pulled her in for a tight hug. 

Connie immediately noticed something different about him that she couldn't quite ignore. 

"Y-you're taller!" Connie gasped as she pulled away from the hug and held onto his shoulders. 

"Yeah, just a bit." Steven smiled as he held Connie just above the waist. 

"Are you shape-" 

"Nope. This is me now." Steven grinned. He had worked pretty hard on being who he wanted to be outside of Beach City. A part of him took some kind of offence to the idea that he was essentially cheating with his form. That certainly wasn't the case.

“Oh...wow. You’re-” 

“You’re gorgeous.” Steven couldn’t help but interrupt as he smiled down at her. Regardless of what Connie was going to say, he had to get it out of his system. He couldn’t hold it in after he had seen her for the first time in such a long time. 

“Oh...Steven. I-I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.” Connie blushed, tucking her hair behind the back of her ear. She was unable to look back at her friends when all she could concentrate was Steven.

Steven had only come a day earlier than he was expected - that couldn’t have been too bad. 

“I-I can come back tomorrow if you like?” Steven placed his hands into his jacket’s pockets. 

“No, it’s okay! You might just have to put up with my friends. Is that...okay?” Connie threw her thumb over her shoulder, feeling a bit guilty that she was now torn between spending time with her friends studying or spending her time with Steven. 

“That’s more than okay!” Steven was excited to meet her friends. He had bluntly heard bits about them over text, but nothing more than that. Of course, he would want to have been a part of Connie’s friendship group, it was nice to have been invited over. After what she had said all those years ago it seemed as if Connie wanted her life with Steven completely separate from her social life at college. 

It felt nice to hear differently. 

Connie didn’t hesitate as she grabbed ahold of Steven’s hand as if they hadn’t been apart for years. Was it awkward? Steven certainly didn’t feel awkward, it felt so normal. It wasn’t the first time that Connie had grabbed ahold of his hand and led him somewhere, but then at the same time, it had been such a long time since they had done anything together. Should it have felt awkward? 

Should it have felt wrong? 

Steven’s heart was still in several different places at once. 

“Guys, this is Steven. He’s my friend from back home - I haven’t seen him in a long time!” Connie blushed as she glanced over to Steven, suddenly showing him off to all of her friends. 

They had heard about Steven Universe - rather frequently from Connie. It seemed as if he was the only guy that she could have possibly been in contact with. Her heart belonged to him and it was incredibly hard to get her to speak about anyone else in the same way. 

“Hi!” Steven smiled and waved at everyone sitting at the table, each of them gawking up at him with wide eyes. 

“You’re...Steven.” 

“Hi, Steven!”

“Hello!”

“Wait. Hold up. You're Steven from the first day?” One of the figures pointed over the table at Steven. 

“Yes. This is Steven from our first day.” Connie sighed, cementing all of the rumours that had been created about her during her first month of college. Breaking up with Steven in her dorm corridor hadn’t exactly been the smartest idea. 

Not only that, but they had all witnessed her friend zone him on the spot. They had all felt incredibly awkward. 

“There’s no way this is the same dude.” Another one of Connie’s friends shook their head in shock, not quite believing how much Steven had changed over the years. 

“I can confirm - I am the same person.” Steven nodded, he was pretty sure he recognised at least two of the people sitting around the table from the day in which he had helped Connie settle into college. 

“Nope. I don’t believe it.” 

“Okay, well, it is the same person. This is Steven. The same Steven who was there on our first day.” Connie furrowed her eyebrows as she pointed to Steven, growing frustrated with her group of friends. Even the people who had no idea who he was had noticed the insane amount of change within him. 

Steven was a different person. He wasn’t the same person who was in the corridor with her on that fateful day. Was he really that unrecognisable? 

There was no way that Connie’s ex-boyfriend had looked like...that. 

“Well, Steven - it’s nice to meet you.” A girl reached over the table and held out her hand for Steven to shake. Unlike the others, he didn’t recognise her from when he had dropped Connie off for her first day at college. 

“You too.” Steven reached out and shook the girl’s hand, Connie stood beside him smiling. She was happy that he had made acquaintances with her friends. 

It didn’t take long for Steven to sit around the circle with the rest of Connie’s friends. It seemed as if they wanted to ask him just about every question under the sun and Steven was happy to answer them. Not only that - but Steven had stories. Stories that Connie had never heard before and they ended up shocking her. None of them being quite like the magical adventures that she had with Steven as a kid. These were so different. 

Stories that consisted of anything from breaking into abandoned buildings to dangerous activities like throwing bottles of alcohol into a fire pit. It was stupid fun. The kind of activities that Connie would have never been able to imagine Steven participating in. He wasn’t like...that. 

Since when was Steven like...that?

“So, this one time me and my friend, Jez, got super high and did shopping cart races. It’s like...it’s when you go into a parking lot late at night and just push each other around in shopping carts. It sounds stupid, but it’s real cool! Jez fell out and broke his arm, but luckily - I’ve got the magic touch.” Steven winked as he kissed his thumb and finger, a slight sparkle being released from his lips as he did it. 

“So, you just...healed him?” Someone questioned, already having the rundown on Steven’s powers around an hour ago. 

“Oh yeah. He didn’t exactly appreciate me spitting on him, but it was worth it in the end.” Steven chuckled as he shrugged. 

“Woah.” 

The group of friends sat on the grass, completely ditching the books as soon as Steven had arrived. Connie had felt slightly uncomfortable the whole time, not only was Steven telling what seemed to be incredibly inappropriate stories, but ones that Connie had never heard before. Steven, getting high? In what world? 

He had to be lying. Except Connie felt like she didn’t know him at all anymore - he could have been telling the truth. Unfortunately for Connie, he was. It was all true. 

Not only that, but it seemed as if her entire group of friends had suddenly become incredibly infatuated with Steven, practically swooning at every word that he said. He certainly had become the centre of attention. Connie didn’t want to be frustrated, but she knew that she couldn’t quite help it. Steven had gone there to see her and yet all he could do was boost his ego within a circle of her friends. This wasn’t the Steven she knew. 

This wasn't the Steven she thought she had called. 

Connie eventually convinced her friends that they had somewhere to be. Connie was just desperate to get Steven to herself so that they could finally talk with each other after not speaking to each other in person for the last year or so. They took a short walk around campus together, as they walked they kept their distance - not linking hands together as they used to do whenever they went anywhere. 

“So, other than studying - what else do you do here?” Steven glanced around at the large buildings. The college hadn’t changed in the slightest since he had last been there. 

“Oh, not much. We mostly hang out at the library and on the weekends we usually go to my friend’s house just outside of town. She has these crazy parties whenever her parents are out of town and they're really fun! You should come to one sometime. There was this one time that we were doing shots and-” Connie explained as they walked, suddenly being interrupted. 

“You were drinking alcohol?” Steven panicked, his voice turning to half a whisper. 

“Yeah, it’s not that big of a deal. Everyone here drinks it.”

“You drink? It doesn't sound like you to be going to parties…” Steven scratched the back of his neck, recalling the time in which Connie had told him that she wanted to go to parties. That certainly didn't sound like something that Connie would have been interested in. It didn't make sense. 

“Well, doing drugs doesn’t sound like you either.” Connie shrugged. 

“I don’t do drugs.” 

“You got high with your friend ‘Jez’? You just told the story.” Connie cocked an eyebrow, seeing if she was able to catch Steven out on a lie. She was certain he was bluffing. 

“Oh yeah, but it was only weed.”

“Steven, weed is a drug.” 

“Yeah - but not a bad one. It’s fine.” Steven shrugged, unsure if Connie was mad at him or not. 

Connie shook her head and laughed, of course, Steven would have made something like that so trivial. If it was important to the people he cared about, he could have been convinced of anything. 

“You’re getting on my case about alcohol and yet you’re several states over smoking weed?” 

“At least weed isn’t illegal.” 

“Alcohol is legal!” 

“Not if you’re only twenty.” Steven gave Connie a smug look before sticking his tongue out as she replied with an exaggerated eye roll. Of course, he was going to call her out on it, that was just what the new and improved Steven liked to do - apparently. 

It seemed as if during their time apart they had grown distant. A distance that couldn’t quite be matched by anything else. Both of them were apparently super into activities that seemed completely out of character for either of them. Connie - party animal? Steven - stoner? 

They were roles that neither of them could imagine them being in over two years. It was crazy to think about. 

Despite getting into a slight debate about what they both enjoyed doing in their free time, Connie finally led Steven up to her dorm. It would have been nice to finally speak to each other without her friends getting in the way of their conversations. 

It was incredibly nice to see Steven and seeing him in her presence was already sending chills down her spine. She loved being with him and after so long of not seeing him, her heart ached with regret. Why did she have to push him away in the way that she did? 

She had to. Or at least - she felt as if she had to at the time. Steven had been suffocating her. 

Steven glanced around her dorm room, other than a few photographs on the wall underneath some new fairy lights it seemed as if her room was near enough the exact same as it was when he helped move some of the things into it a couple of years ago. It seemed as if Connie was too busy with studying for interior decoration. 

Connie shut the door room door behind her, it felt nice to finally be alone with Steven after half a day of having him stuck between her and her friends probing him with questions. Steven had certainly shared quite a lot of stories that Connie couldn’t have quite imagined Steven to have participated in. 

“Your friends are pretty nice.” Steven happily commented as he threw his hands into his pockets and teetered on his heels in the middle of the room. He stared around the room as if he had never been there before. Everything about it screamed Connie. It was just how he remembered and despite the changes that had become apparent, it was nice to see her room was the same. 

“I was going to tidy up tonight, I didn’t expect you to be here today.” Connie didn’t bother to respond as she noticed a pile of dirty clothes she had left on the floor. She swooped them up as she dipped past Steven in a subtle attempt to make things a little neater. Her room wasn’t exactly the largest which meant having two people in there was incredibly tight. 

“It’s okay. Mess is cool. Fun-sway?” Steven shrugged, still stood in the middle of the room unsure as to what they would be doing with the rest of their evening. 

"Feng Shui." Connie corrected with a small snort. He was such a dork. 

"Yeah - that." 

Connie threw the loose clothes on her desk chair - she would have eventually gotten to tidying them and putting them away. Everyone had a chair with clothes on in their room, if she didn’t, then she certainly wouldn’t have been considered a college student. It wasn’t a task that she was willing to get into when she was with Steven. She hadn’t seen him in so long. 

“My friends seem to think that you’re pretty nice too. In more ways than one.” Connie chuckled as she turned around to face Steven, mumbling the last sentence under her breath as she relayed Steven's previous statement. 

“Oh, really?” Steven smirked, unable to stop himself - knowing exactly what Connie may have been referring to. 

“They think you’re kind of hot.” 

“Kind of?” 

“Really hot...” Connie rolled her eyes with a smile as she corrected herself, standing opposite Steven in the small room. She didn’t want to inflate his ego, it already seemed as if he wasn’t as humble as he once was. 

“Well, I do try.” Steven winked at Connie before brushing his hand through his hair. 

Ah boy, he was hot. Sickeningly so. 

Connie shook her head before stepping past him and sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“You can sit down if you want...rather than standing up in the middle of the room.” Connie patted the bed beside her, desperate to privately catch up with her best friend. It had been an incredibly long time. 

Steven glanced around the room. There wasn’t anywhere to sit other than beside Connie and he certainly didn’t mind. The closer he was to Connie the better, as long as he didn’t come across as smothering as he did when they were teenagers. 

Steven held onto the edge of the mattress as he glanced over at Connie who had kicked off her shoes and was sitting cross-legged beside him. Connie stared directly at him, trying to figure him out. 

“You’re different.” She stated so suddenly, taking Steven by surprised. 

“Different good or different bad?” Steven furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Just...different.” Connie smiled at Steven, her heart melting at the sight of him. ‘Different’ was the only word that she could use to describe him. It wasn’t a good kind of different and it wasn’t a bad kind of different. He was just different from how she had remembered him.

"You are also different." Steven nodded. 

"Weird, right?" 

"Really weird." Steven grinned, they had suddenly found themselves in the same position. Neither of them was exactly how they remembered one another, but that was okay! 

"Yeah..." 

Steven glanced around the room once more. Perhaps being different wasn't such a bad thing? They stared at each other for a moment, holding their gaze. Although Connie looked slightly different she was still Connie. There was no doubt about it. 

There in that very moment, they felt like teenagers once again. A loving gaze - one similar to what they used to give one another when Connie would study in Steven's bedroom day after day. The same kind of gaze that Connie gave Steven after what seemed like hours of making out in the back of his Dondai. 

“So, was it just your friends who thought I was hot or…?” Steven tilted his head back, suddenly wanting an answer to his question. 

“Just my friends.” Connie teased. 

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Steven smirked.

“Pretty sure.”

“Hm. I mean, I think you’re…”

“Yeah?”

Steven leant back on his hands before biting down on his bottom lip. He wasn’t very subtle as he glanced up and down Connie’s body. It wasn’t like they were when they were teenagers. Connie wasn’t a teenager anymore, she was a beautiful woman and Steven was having a hard time not being incredibly physically attracted to her. 

“You’re…” Steven couldn’t quite get his words out, too caught up in his gaze. 

Connie noticed his stare and before leaning forward and planting a slow kiss on his lips. With Steven’s lips still slightly ajar he realised quite how much he had missed that connection. After spending a whole summer making out with Connie, her lips felt so familiar against his. Connie had been holding back since he had arrived, she had been desperate to kiss him like she used to. 

Steven didn’t close his eyes, finding Connie lingering in front of him with their lips brushing together as they stayed as close as possible. Steven brought his hand to the side of her face, gently pushing her hair away with his fingers before kissing her once more. 

He suddenly pressed further into the kiss, twisting his entire body so that he was facing Connie. Connie let herself fall backwards on the bed as Steven practically found himself on top of her, kissing her passionately. 

Steven hadn’t been that close to Connie in years and finally being able to be near her was truly something else. He had never felt so swept away at any moment in his entire life - except now. 

Connie ran her fingers through his hair as she noticed his hand fall to her side, gently coaxing her shirt out from her shorts as subtly as possible. Connie immediately noticed, placing her hand on his wrist with a sudden movement. 

The gesture caught Steven's attention, he hadn’t quite noticed how desperate he had become for Connie’s touch. They did just the same as when they were teenagers - but this time was different. This time they were adults. 

Steven let go of her lips, breathing deeply as they disconnected. His hand no longer on a pursuit for a sexual connection. He knew he had to make sure he received verbal permission - he wanted to know what Connie was comfortable with. They hadn’t seen each other for so long, was this how they were going to communicate now? 

When they were teenagers they found themselves communicating mostly through the kisses that they shared with each other. However, it had been so long that neither of them was sure if this was still an effective way of communicating. 

“Do you-” Steven looked into her eyes before he could even finish his sentence she had already responded. 

“Yes.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes!” Connie nodded as Steven sat back down on the edge of the bed and began to pull the fancy red sneakers off his feet. 

Connie untucked her shirt and began to undo the buttons from the top. Steven practically ripped off his denim jacket and threw it on top of his shoes, creating yet another mess to mimic the one that Connie had just tidied. 

She didn’t care. She didn’t even look, too busy watching Steven pull the white t-shirt over his head revealing the physic that she hadn’t completely been expecting. She noticed that he had been muscular when she had hugged him, but the reality was so much kinder than her imagination. 

He was ripped. His gem still sat at the bottom of his stomach, in the middle of the abs that he had gotten after months of training with the people he spent so much time with. It wasn’t quite the same as training with Jasper and for the most part, he tried to hold back on his strength. He always had to remember he was training with humans and not Jasper. None of them quite had the same strength. 

Connie found it hard not to gulp at the sight of him smirking back at her. Steven was good looking and he knew it. A part of her hated him for being so smug about it - feeling a little self-conscious as she continued to undo the buttons of her shirt. 

Steven rejoined Connie, kissing her on the lips softly as he moved her hands out of the way and made it his own mission to undo all of the buttons of her shirt. It didn’t take long for him to remove her shirt and find his hand back on her side. Connie lifted her hand to his stomach as he towered over her, refusing to let his lips depart from hers. 

They had never been quite so intimate before. They both craved the connection that had taken them years to finally achieve. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t both thought about this moment for years in advance. For the past few years, they had found themselves in each other’s thoughts during times in which their own self-pleasure was the utmost important thing. 

Steven had never been so impatient as he felt Connie’s hands fumbling to unbutton the top of his jeans. There was nothing he could have wanted more than to have been caught up in that moment with the person that he loved more than anything or anyone in the whole universe. Connie was his everything. 

Connie wanted nothing more than to make sure she was as close to Steven as possible, suddenly not so embarrassed if the people in her dorm heard what was going on through the paper-thin walls. Right at that moment, nothing else mattered other than her and Steven being together.

The time that they shared had been intimate and Connie had never known anything like it before. The swift sense of euphoria swept over her quicker than she was expecting, but she didn’t mind in the slightest. It had been such a beautiful moment for both of them to have shared together and Connie wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

Steven was there throughout it all, assuring that she was still okay. Speaking to her softly as he kissed her jawline or used his hands to hold her. He made her feel confident - sexy. 

“That was - wow.” Connie laughed as she traced her finger across the middle of his chest that was chiselled in such a way that caused such physical attraction. She rested her head on him as he laid with one arm holding her close and the other behind the back of his own head. 

“Yeah…” Steven sighed, looking down at Connie who was tangled up next to him. 

“You were really good for your first time.” Connie smiled, listening to his heartbeat as he stared across the other side of the room - his mind slightly vacant from thoughts. 

“My...first time?” Steven furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, your first time having sex...” Connie looked up at Steven.

“This wasn’t my first time.” 

“What?” Connie suddenly sat up, taking the blanket with her to cover herself. The words came crashing down on her like a ton of bricks. 

“I’ve had sex before.” Steven shrugged, playing it off as if it meant nothing. He continued to lay back casually as Connie stared back at him in sheer disgust. 

“With who?” Connie instantly felt as if she was nothing. Steven had boosted her self-confidence only to let her down immediately afterwards. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Were they special?” Connie snapped, a crack in her voice. 

“Who?”

“Whoever it was that you felt the need to sleep with!”

“No. Yes…”

“It’s one or the other, Steven.” 

“I cared about them, but they weren’t...special.”

“But you still slept with them?” 

“It didn’t mean anything.”

“Did you love them?” 

“It wasn’t like that.” Steven shook his head, finding it hard to defend his actions. It wasn't as if they had even been together at the time. It simply wasn't as she thought it was. 

“This was supposed to be special!” Connie nearly choked on her words, unable to control her emotions as her eyes began to well with sadness and anger mixed in one. Steven was...unbelievable. 

“It was special!” Steven argued, not quite seeing it from Connie’s perspective. 

“No - it wasn’t!” 

“Why? Because I did it with someone else?”

“Yes! Our first time was going to be special. We spoke about this when we were younger!” Connie raised her voice, feeling incredibly hurt that Steven would have done something so out of the question. 

“We spoke about spending the rest of our lives together too! However, you seemed to have forgotten about that pretty early on. It’s not all on me.” Steven shouted, suddenly incredibly emotionally charged by her comments. 

This wasn't about sex. This was about them and the complex relationship that they shared. Had Connie really brought him all the way to her college so that they could argue? This certainly wasn't what he was expecting. 

“I thought we needed space.”

“You needed space. Not me. You.” Steven gritted his teeth together. He never wanted to leave. Steven sat up, noticing the quick disconnect between them both. Connie sat on the edge of the bed, struggling to turn around to face him. 

“You know it was for a reason...” Connie knew that distancing herself from Steven had been a difficult task, but it was one that she needed. 

They both needed it. 

“You told me to live my life!”

How was she supposed to look at the man who she loved with all her heart and yet he had made it so difficult to do so? He was insufferable!

“That didn’t mean sleep with everyone!”

“What did you want me to do, Connie? You pushed me away!” 

“I didn’t-”

“Yes, you did! You pushed me away so that you could go to college with all your fancy friends and textbooks. Just admit that I was never good enough. I’m not normal like your other friends and you’ve had the time of your life without me in it. Just admit it! I’m a burden to you.” Steven raised his voice, completely frustrated with the woman sitting on the edge of the bed holding the blankets up to her chin to both cover her body and the fact she was about to break down in tears. 

Connie sat in silence, Steven patiently awaiting a response. It was never his intention to be hurtful with his words, but the way in which Connie had treated him over the years hadn’t been fair. Although, how Steven had treated Connie also hadn’t been very fair. They were both as bad as each other. 

“I wouldn’t have called you if you were a burden to me, Steven.” Connie sighed. 

“So, what? Why did you call me? Did you call me just to have sex? Is this a joke?” 

“No! It’s not like that, I just-” 

“You want to use me for-”

“Will you stop interrupting me? Just let me speak!” Connie snapped, growing ever so frustrated with Steven constantly butting in. 

“Sorry.” Steven responded sheepishly.

“I called you because I miss you! I thought that maybe we could...work things out? I just didn’t expect you to be so...” 

“Different…” Steven’s eyebrows sank as he leant back on the pillows, completely deflated by the conversation. They certainly weren’t the same people that they knew when they had left over two years ago. 

“Exactly.” Connie sighed, brushing her hair back before finally finding the courage to turn around and exchange quick glances. Connie sympathetically pushed her lips into a thin line and tried smiling, much to her discomfort. 

Steven stared down at his hands, beginning to pick away at the skin around his fingernails. 

“I still love you, y’know?” Steven attempted to pass off a casual conversation and yet the words came with so much weight attached to them. 

“I know. I still love you too.” Connie turned around slightly and placed her hand on top of Steven’s. 

Steven held her hand gently - he had no many mixed feelings about the whole scenario. Despite being mixed, there was one feeling that remained. The feeling of deep love. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, I’m sorry.” Connie corrected, wanting them both to reconnect in such a way that allowed them to get past this. 

“Don’t be. This one is on me. I’m sorry I ruined your first-” Steven looked down at her hand as he rubbed his thumb against the top of her soft skin. 

“Y-you didn’t. It was perfect. It was...with you. That was all I wanted.” Connie half-smiled, still feeling somewhat hurt that she hadn’t been Steven’s first in return. It was something that as teenagers they had discussed before - but nothing had ever come of it. 

Steven felt guilty, but it wasn’t as if he had been with anyone else romantically. Sex was trivial. It didn’t mean a lot to Steven and mostly just acted as a relief for human connection that he had never had another opportunity to be close with. Steven had slept with a few people over the years, but it wasn’t as if any of them had been as special as it had been with Connie.

Steven was an incredibly sentimental person and yet the idea of sex had made him completely numb. Was sex supposed to be romantic? Probably - but only with Connie. He couldn’t quite imagine having sex with anyone romantically that wasn’t Connie. He never admitted it, but it wasn’t as if he thought of anyone other than Connie when with others. 

“Just so you know...I’ve never been with anyone else. Not - romantically.” Steven glanced away, he needed Connie to know that it wasn’t about love. Nothing about Steven’s sex life was about love. 

“Oh…” Despite Connie still feeling somewhat hurt with his actions, it wasn’t as if they had been together for years. She had broken up with him and had no right to be upset about what he did when she wasn’t around. 

So what, he was sleeping with other people? Connie shouldn’t have cared. It was none of her business. 

“I’ve never loved anyone other than you. I don’t think I can.” 

“Sorry.”

“No! I want to love you. I love loving you!” Steven smiled as he looked up at Connie, desperate to make sure that she understood where he was coming from. It wasn’t as if he ever wanted to stop loving Connie. 

Just as she had told him all those years ago - there was no way that he could have stopped loving her just because they distanced themselves. Steven and Connie’s relationship went far above just loving each other. They were best friends before anything else. 

He truly did love being in love with Connie and he had known that since he was a kid. 

“I know! I love loving you too, Steven. It’s just hard.” Connie sighed, realising all of the things she said a couple of years ago were still true now. 

Despite them being different - they probably wouldn’t have been able to be different people around each other. Although Steven had learnt to not be so dependent on Connie, he knew that if she were to fall back into his life that he would latch onto her as fast as possible. Connie knew it too and that was certainly something that she had worried about in the past. 

Connie loved Steven - but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t have been suffocating. 

Maybe it was a mistake for Connie to have called Steven? It wasn’t exactly the smartest idea. It had probably given off the wrong signals to Steven. 

Sleeping with him? Yeah - she probably shouldn’t have done that either. 

It was hard to stay away when you loved someone and despite achieving that for a couple of years, going on any longer would have hurt them further. 

“This wouldn’t work - would it?” Steven bit onto his bottom lip, feeling nervous about mentioning the words. 

“What?” 

“Us. It’s not...we’re not teenagers anymore.” Steven sighed, as much as he didn’t want to admit the words - it was the truth. 

“Steven…” Connie couldn’t quite believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Never in a million years would she have suspected Steven to have said anything of the sort. It wasn’t like him. 

It wasn’t like the old Steven…

“We’ve both got really different things going on and I wouldn’t want to ruin what you have here. All your friends are so awesome! I’m so glad you’re...happy.” Steven smiled up at Connie, continuing to hold onto her hand. 

“You wouldn’t ruin it.” 

“Yeah - I would. I know I would.” Steven knew he was bound to want to take up all of Connie’s attention. That would have meant a lot less time for her to socialise with her friends and a lot less time to study. Steven didn’t want to ruin her routine. She had a good thing going here. 

“So, you don’t want to at least try to get back together?” 

“I want to be with you more than anything, but you know it’s not that easy. You know it wouldn’t be...right.” 

“How about a yearly review?” Connie threw out an obscene suggestion. 

“Huh?” Steven suddenly snorted, realising that Connie had somewhat changed the tone of the conversation. 

Despite having a heart to heart, Steven hadn’t even clocked onto the fact that they were both still completely naked under the sheets. That was just...typical Steven. 

“Well, why don’t we just see how things go? I haven’t got long left at college - maybe we could work something out then?” Connie continued to hold tightly onto Steven’s hand, a desperate attempt to keep them close. 

“When did you become the optimistic one?” Steven cocked an eyebrow, as much as he loved Connie’s suggestion he knew something of the sort wouldn’t work just as well as they thought it would within their mind. They were completely lovestruck and a lot of the things that they were suggesting would have been in the moment rash decisions. 

“Hey! I’ve always been the optimistic one!” Connie chuckled as she pushed Steven in the shoulder slightly. He reacted with a slight giggle, one in which Connie hadn’t heard in such a long time. 

Steven couldn’t help but grin as he saw her smiling, sitting on the edge of the bed still using one hand to sloppily hold the blanket over herself. She was doing a terrible job in doing so - but Steven didn’t mind in the slightest. 

“You’ve always been the beautiful one.” Steven suddenly commented, as if his brain didn’t want to communicate with his mouth. It just...slipped. 

Connie’s expression dropped slightly. She wanted to be with him so badly, he made her feel so special and loved and yet-

“We can’t-”

“I know.” Steven removed his hand away from Connie before covering his face in frustration. It was so difficult, he had become so torn with his emotions. 

Connie, feeling just as defeated as Steven laid herself back down beside him, pulling the blanket over both of them. Steven relaxed, laying himself down on the pillow and staring up at the ceiling with Connie beside him so close. 

“What do we do?” Connie sighed, her insides so torn apart with an abundance of emotion as she laid beside Steven. 

“I don’t know...” Steven continued to stare at the ceiling, listening to the distant sounds of some doors opening and closing somewhere else in the block of dorm rooms. 

“This is weird.” 

“Yeah - it is.” 

“I think it’s okay to be...weird.” 

“Our relationship or just in general?” Steven smirked as he turned his head on the pillow, Connie joining him - staring directly into his handsome eyes. 

“Both.” 

They laid there in silence, attempting to fathom each part of their relationship within their minds. 

They loved each other and yet loving each other was impossible when they both wanted to lead such different lives. It seemed as if neither of them was the problem and although they had spent their entire childhood loving one another - being together in the way in which they believed would have been incredibly intimate would have been a mistake. They needed to be their own people regardless of what their hearts wanted. It wasn’t healthy for either of them to have been in that space. 

Maybe one-day things would have been different?

“When I trapped you in a bubble all those years ago, I didn’t quite expect us to end up here.” Steven chuckled, continuing to stare at the ceiling. 

“In the world’s most complicated relationship or...alive? Because I very much thought I was going to die that day.” Connie confirmed, unable to stop herself from sniggering. 

“Um...both?” Steven pressed his lips together as he grinned, turning once again to face Connie. She copied his action, staring directly at him. 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Connie smiled as she lifted her hand up to stroke the side of Steven’s face just as she had done a thousand times before. 

Connie would have done anything to have Steven sleep beside her every single night. It would have provided her with tremendous happiness and yet at the same time tremendous sadness. Things may have been different in the future, but for now, things just couldn’t be how they wanted them to be. 

A relationship in which they could have been together was a pipedream. Although, not impossible. 

There were so many defining factors to their relationship and despite being so in love - that wasn’t always the healthiest reasoning of being in a relationship. Outside of that love they had to look at the logistical properties of being in a relationship together. 

Sometimes it was better to be apart. They needed to continue to grow without each other.

“You’ll always be my best friend first - before any of this.” Connie gently used her thumb to stroke the stubble on his cheek. 

“So, we can still hang out?” 

“We never had to stop hanging out, silly.” Connie smirked, realising that they had missed out on a lot of time together due to them slowly distancing themselves. What went from being them occasionally hanging out as friends turned into distant text messages that felt empty and emotionless. 

“Oh.” 

“I never tried hard enough to reach you.” 

“Me neither. I...got scared I might be bothering you. It sounded like you were pretty tied up with college and all your new friends.” 

“Me too. You kept getting tagged on social media - there’s that photo of you hanging upside down from that underpass. What was that about? It looked dangerous.” Connie snorted.

“Oh…I was just messing around. My friends and I do a lot of dumb stuff together.”

“We’re really stupid - aren’t we?” Connie chuckled, realising that the only reason they hadn’t been in contact the way that they wished they were was to no fault of their own. 

“Yeah. We are.” Steven laughed, allowing Connie to comfort him with her touch. He was stupid. Steven was stupid and should have sucked up his pride sooner and rang Connie more often. They should have gotten together sooner. It was stupid of them to have spent so long coming to that conclusion. 

They had wasted so much time without one another. 

“So, what do we do now?” Steven suddenly questioned, unsure where their relationship could have gone now that they had sat down and had an important and much-needed conversation. 

“Just be...best friends?” Connie cocked an eyebrow, unsure if the words would have ticked Steven over a mental barrier within him. However, the words didn’t quite hit him in the same way they would have hit him many years ago. 

He liked the idea. 

“Do best friends get to make out?” 

“No. I don’t think so.” 

“Can we do it anyway?”

“Steven…”

“Okay. Sorry.” Steven glanced away for a moment, unsure whether or not he had said the wrong thing. There was something so confusing and yet so complex about their relationship that neither of them could have quite put their finger on. 

They were best friends. They weren’t dating and yet they still wanted to be with each other every moment of the day. It was difficult - there was no in-between for something like this. 

“Practically speaking - I don’t think we should be in a relationship. It’s not...feasible?” Connie suddenly blurted out as if it was something that she desperately needed to get out of her system. 

“You’re in college and I’m travelling…” Steven understood where she was coming from almost immediately. 

“Exactly. I want to be with you, Steven - but everything surrounding us makes it so difficult. We’ve...grown apart.” Connie didn’t want to say the words, but she knew they were true. 

When Connie had broken up with Steven it wasn’t as if she ever wanted them to stop being best friends. She had even stated that when she had troubled him with the words that she never wanted them to fall out over it - she still wanted to speak to her best friend. 

However, it seemed that despite Steven being incredibly smothering, being distanced from him for so long had caused them to grow further apart than they had liked to admit. 

Perhaps the distance from one another was a good thing...at least at first. Although, as time went on it seemed that the distance kept them from one another more than it did them any good. Connie had never wanted it to be like that and neither did Steven, but it was as if they had fallen into their own trap. 

“I know. We’re just too far apart. I wish things were different.” Steven sighed heavily. 

“Me too.” 

“We can try in the future though - right?” Steven suggested, being somewhat hopeful that them being apart wouldn’t have been the complete end of it. 

“Yeah. I just think maybe we should take it slow.”

“Okay. I can do that.” 

“I can do that too.” Connie smiled.

It was the case of finding themselves trying to gain their friendship back. They always had been and always would be friends, but after spending so much time apart they needed to get to know each other again. 

The different sides of them. The sides in which they had found without their counterpart. The things that made them unique to one another. 

“So, do you promise to call at least once a week?” Steven smiled widely as he turned his head on the pillow.

“I promise.” Connie smirked back, she was happy to accept his one wish. That way, perhaps they wouldn’t have found themselves so distant. 

“And you’ll come and meet my friends too, right? They sort of already know everything about you - but they’re still convinced you don’t exist.” Steven chuckled awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck. 

“It depends on what you told them.”

“Just...how you’re the most amazing person in the whole universe and how I’m incredibly lucky to be your bo-” Steven stopped himself. “Best friend.” He smiled. 

“Oh, really?” Connie was flattered that he spoke about her on his journey. It seemed strange to her knowing that he had spoken about her a lot more than he had probably spoken to her within the past couple of years. Although Connie couldn’t say a word, she always spoke about her adventures with Steven. With him being such a huge part of her life it had always been hard not to. 

“Always.”

They stared at each other for a moment, sharing what seemed to be a peaceful second between them. 

“Steven, we’re going to be okay - aren’t we?” Connie questioned as she looked towards Steven with a hopeful expression. 

“Y’know what? I think we will be…” Steven smiled as he spoke softly, Connie mirroring his expression. 

Although Steven could have been impatient, just like last time he was willing to wait for Connie. However, since their conversation, Steven was convinced that this time would have been different. 

There was a possibility that every couple of months they would have tried things again, but it didn’t mean it would have worked out. A constant circle that they had started to find themselves trapped in time and time again. 

Yet, no matter what they did and how many times they found themselves going in the same circle there was always one guarantee for them both. 

They would always love each other no matter where each of their paths took them.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Different is...different. An unconventional take on Connverse. If you contrast both Delicate and Different you can truly understand the mirroring aspect of the two stories. 
> 
> I think the overall message of this story is that Connverse have an unbreakable bond and no matter what they would do to try and stop that - they will always fall back to each other. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Lots of love. Me, your favourite Connverse heartbreaker. :^)


End file.
